Posts tagged “australia

ESC 2024 First Semi-Final Live Notes

ESC 2024 Logo

Hello Dear Readers and Happy Eurovision!!

It is once again the best week of the year. Thanks to being back in a regular 9-5 job here in the US, I have to watch the semi-finals on a delay. But these notes are written as I am watching for the first time knowing nothing of the results. As a reminder, while I am familiar with all of the songs and their performing artists, I’ve only seen thirty second clips of their stagings – so that aspect will be completely new to me (unless they mirror their national final performance).

Going into the show, here are my predictions for qualifiers: (in no particular order)

Croatia, Portugal, Slovenia, Lithuania, Ukraine, Azerbaijan, Ireland, Serbia, Luxembourg, Finland. For those who read Contender or Pretender, you know Ukraine is my winner pick for this year.

A few reminders, the Contest has reverted to 2009 rules with one exception – the semi-finals will be 100% televote (but there will be no jury wildcard) and the Grand Final will be 50/50. I’m not a fan of this change but prefer it to some of the other elements of the Melfestification the Contest has been undergoing the past ten years – namely, the introduction of pre-recorded vocals and producer-made running orders.

Oh – and Luxembourg returns to the ESC stage for the first time since 1993! Thirty-one years, let’s see how it does. Good luck to Tali and the Luxembourgish delegation! And to all the delegations!

Now on with the show!

Oh, a little preview of the postcards, cute.

Why are they opening with Fuego (Cyprus 2018)? This seems totally random. And now Popular (Sweden 2011) – at least this one is Swedish. So, are we honoring entries with hot (but not overly good) singers and strong choreography? At least Sweden knows where its money is made. Oh, and here’s SloMo (Spain 2022). So, that’s a yes to entries better known for their sexiness and dance moves instead of the singing or artistic quality of the song. I say this, but Spain was very much my winner pick in 2022 and I still maintain that it would have won in a normal year.

This is Petra Mede’s third time hosting (after 2013 and 2016). I like her, but I hate that almost every joke she makes is about the Contest being for gays only or is overly-bawdy. That’s a tirade I have made several times on this blog and do not feel the need to repeat here. Petra’s sidekick is nice.

01 Cyprus: Liar performed by Silia Kapsis

!!! I love this postcard – harking back to classic entries from Cyprus.

Love the use of the stage floor there! I cannot say that her voice is great tonight, but the choreography – the dancing and coordinated lights – is fantastic. The was incredible staging. Just incredible! If her vocals weren’t so shaky, I would say this was an easy qualifier.

02 Serbia: Ramonda performed by Teya Dora

Here we go…the big chorus…a little underwhelming. Maybe it gets stronger as it goes along? Ehh…that’s more than a bit disappointing, actually. It’s supposed to be this powerful, patriotic song and it was just kinda like…mid.

03 Lithuania: Luktelk performed by Silvester Belt

The only thing I do not like about these postcards is the emphasis on the artists. This is a song contest, not a talent show. The old entries should at least have the titles. And the postcards shouldn’t end with the artists’ names all big and bold.

One of my favorite songs this year and not just because Silvester Belt is adorable. Never a fan of having the artist’s face on the screen. Very much appreciate the fact that he’s using a live backing vocal instead of pre-recorded one. That was a lot more choreography than anticipated. Great – so far, the best on the night, I think.

04 Ireland: Doomsday Blue performed by Bambie Thug

Cannot say that I am too happy with occultism being allowed on the stage while overt Christian symbols are not. Otherwise, I see how this rose in the betting odds. Their vocal performance has improved considerably and the staging is absolutely perfect. Also – please note, while Bambie Thug is wearing a transflag, they are, indeed, non-binary.

And if you want to learn more about the Contest, check out my “Eurovision for Beginners” section.

AQ United Kingdom: Dizzy performed by Olly Alexander

Why do they have the auto-qualifiers in the middle of the show instead of during the Interval Act? Because SVT is silly.

Our second song in the top ten of the betting odds. Seeing this staging, I can definitely see how this rose in the betting odds. Definitely one of the more innovative stagings we’ve ever seen on the ESC stage. My friend (also a gay guy in his 30s) said that this was “the gayest thing he’s ever seen” – and I am inclined to agree. Just on the edge of tasteful and raunchy. Definitely not a winner, but a fantastic effort from a fantastic artist.

05 Ukraine: Teresa & Maria performed by alyona alyona & Jerry Heil

Love the white dress with armor that Jerry Heil is wearing. So far, everything about this is screaming winner. I love the choice to go with whites and silvers instead of the blacks of the national final. It adds a sense of hopefulness that was missing in the national final performance. Not sure they needed a giant Jerry Heil angel there, but sure. WOW. That ending imagery of the women lying there is utterly powerful. WOW.

06 Poland: The Tower performed by Luna

WHAT IS SHE WEARING?!?!?!?! Oh, good, it’s coming off. WHAT IS SHE WEARING?!?! Oh, and now she has a creepy dancing rook. And a blood horse. And now a second rook person. This is like…some chess-themed nightmare. And there’s another rook person. Positives…I like her nails and her boots. She mostly hit her big note.

07 Croatia: Rim Tim Tagi Dim performed by Baby Lasagna

The big betting odds favorite, retaking the top spot after rehearsals started. Love the farm animals on the backing screen. Man, he has just taken over this show. I need to seriously reconsider my beliefs about his winning possibilities. I wasn’t sure how this was going to translate to this giant stage and they truly nailed it! The staging. The performance. I think he may have just won this semi-final for Croatia.

08 Iceland: Scared of Heights performed by Hera Björk

Well-known among hardcore ESC fans, she was a mainstay backing vocalist throughout the late 2000s until finally representing Iceland in 2010. She’s generally well-loved and consider a major ESC diva. This song, despite all her efforts, is bland and pedestrian. She is the Queen of Backing Singers; very happy that she chose to put hers out front with her.

Another ad-break.

I do find this adding ESC songs to classic movies bit as very cute.

The stage is amazing!

AQ Germany: Always on the Run performed by Isaak

This is a great song that is getting absolutely no traction. Aside from the fact that larger guys generally get very little attention or love, the song is a bit dated, maybe 5-7 years too late. But Isaak is performing it wonderfully and I like this staging.

09 Slovenia: Veronika performed by Raiven

Whoa! That outfit is definitely pushing the limits. This song is apparently about the first woman executed for “being a witch” in Slovenia and claiming the power that comes with righting an injustice and empowering women everywhere. It’s certainly creepy and dark and mysterious. I don’t know. I just don’t know.

10 Finland: No Rules! performed by Windows95Man

This is every bit the televote-pandering nonsense I was expecting it to be. Ugh. Not a fan but it will likely sail through to the Final.

11 Moldova: In the Middle performed by Natalia Barbu

Natalia Barbu returns after 17 years (she representing Moldova with Fight back in 2007 – my first Contest!). I love her dress, but kinda wish she had the five clones as backing singers again like she did in the national final. The graphics on the screen are gorgeous, though! I’ve never understood the use of having wings on the screen if you don’t actually make them look like coming out of you. She sounded great, but, like Iceland, it’s just a bland song.

AQ Sweden: Unforgettable performed by Marcus & Martinus

Everyone’s favorite Norwegian twins. After living in Norway and mostly hearing their old stuff, it’s weird to hear them sing in English. But, oh man, no one can ever say that Sweden doesn’t put on a stunning stage show. Wowza! That might finish in the Top Ten on Saturday.

12 Azerbaijan: Özünlə Apar performed by Fahree feat. Ilkin Dovlatov

What’s up with all these Tron-inspired outfits tonight? He seems off-pitch, like, just flat (below where he’s supposed to be). The first major use of Azerbaijani on stage and it’s still not that much. I don’t know, this song is definitely being performed underwhelmingly. OH! The creepy figure’s hands have manifested themselves into reality. One can never count out the power of the Turkish diaspora, especially with Germany and Luxembourg voting tonight.

13 Australia: One Milkali (One Blood) performed by Electric Fields

Love the dress, hate the suit. I love the overwhelmingly Aboriginal motif of this staging. And their voices are good. But, all of this, does not take away the fact that the song is bland and uninteresting.

14 Portugal: Grito performed by Iolanda

I love this song but worried about how it would translate to the huge ESC stage. I think it has made the jump beautifully! It looks stunning. Iolanda sounds amazing. The stark contrast of the white and black, blinding light and pitch dark is awesome. This song should qualify, but I am not sure if it will.

15 Luxembourg: Fighter performed by TALI

The performance 31 years in the making. This is better than the studio version I’m used to listening to and way better than her national performance. If she had more than just Germany to support her tonight, I would say Luxembourg would be getting through. BUT no Belgium, no Netherlands, no France, no Switzerland…it’s going to be hard for this to get through without juries voting tonight.

Well then. How do I personally rate these 18 songs based ONLY on tonight?

18. Poland

17. Finland

16. Iceland

15. Moldova

14. Cyprus

13. Serbia

12. Slovenia

11. Azerbaijan

10. Luxembourg

9. Australia

8. Sweden

7. Lithuania

6. Germany

5. Ireland

4. Croatia

3. United Kingdom

2. Portugal

1. Ukraine

Hooray for Johnny Logan! Very classy for Sweden to honor Ireland – who beat them to seven wins (1970, 1980, 1988, 1992, 1993, 1994, 1996) and were the first to have a two-time winning performer (Johnny Logan – 1980 and 1988). And very classy for Johnny Logan to perform Loreen’s first winning song Euphoria (Sweden 2012).

I quite enjoyed the “tribute” to dancing numbers at ESC.

Ohh, Benjamin Ingrosso. Nice! Would have been better if he at least did a bit of Dance You Off.

I am ready to hear the results.

So, who do I think will qualify? In no particular order:

  • Ireland

  • Slovenia

  • Portugal

  • Ukraine

  • Croatia

  • Cyprus

  • Azerbaijan

  • Serbia

  • Luxembourg

  • Finland

We’ll see how I do.

Finally, the results!

Serbia (1 out of 1 correct)

Portugal (2 for 2)

Slovenia (3 for 3)

Ukraine (4 for 4)

So far, no surprises

Lithuania (4 for 5)

Finland (5 for 6)

Cyprus (6 for 7)

Croatia (7 for 8)

Ireland (8 for 9)

Luxembourg (9 for 10)

No real surprises here. I wasn’t sure if Azerbaijan performance was strong enough to qualify but figured the Turkish diaspora would support it. 90% accuracy is pretty good though, and the one song I didn’t predict is one of my favorites this year, so I’m not complaining.

Overall, a great show! Looking forward to Thursday 🙂


ESC 2024 Initial Reactions

ESC 2024 Logo

Hello Dear Readers!

Once again, another Eurovision is upon us. We have all 37 songs selected. Welcome back LUXEMBOURG!!! Goodbye Romania 😦 We know who will be going to…Malmö once more.

Per usual, I am offering my initial reactions upon hearing all the songs for the very first time. I use the songs as they appear on Spotify in the “official” list. I use this to judge the lyrics, music, performance.

This year, to change things up, I’ll review the songs by semi-final in reverse alphabetical order.  And, the EBU is taking a page out of my book. Instead of only doing a clip of the Automatic Qualifiers after the songs, we’ll get their full performance during the main show. Why throw in distractions during a competition when they could easily be interval acts? I don’t know, ask the EBU.

 

First Semi-Final

United Kingdom: Dizzy performed by Olly Alexander

I’ve always been a fan of Years & Years; though, I have to say this does not sound like his best work. I like this, though, it’s easy to sing along to without being repetitive. Hits all the important bits of contemporary bubble gum pop. I can definitely see this doing well with a good position in the running order.

Lyrics: 7

Composition: 8

Performance: 8

TOTAL: 23

Ukraine: Teresa & Maria performed by alyona alyona and Jerry Heil

A song about the expectations society piles atop women and calling upon the power of all the women who came before you to give you strength. As I’ve stated on this blog on numerous occasions, I’m rather religious – and the imagery of this song speaks to me even though I am neither a woman nor a big fan of rap. This song works really well and, I think, one of Ukraine’s strongest to date. Maybe not my top song this year, but I have no notes.

Lyrics: 10

Composition: 10

Performance: 10

TOTAL: 30

Sweden: Unforgettable performed by Marcus & Martinus

Oh, M&M, the Norwegian twins from the middle of nowhere. I loved their early stuff. And I liked their song from last year’s MGP (hot take, it would have won the Norsk Melodi Grand Prix had they entered in their home country). Like so many Swedish entries, this song is fairly average without (what I imagine is) a fascinating stage show. Meh.

Lyrics: 5

Composition: 8

Performance: 8

TOTAL: 21

Slovenia: Veronika performed by Raiven

A song about self-discovery and trying to be true to oneself despite the fear authenticity can bring. They are aiming for an epic sound. If I had to guess, the composer is aiming for the proclamation of an identity (“I am/You are/Veronika”) to be ringing out among the chaos. I see what this song is trying to do and commend it for its attempt.

Lyrics: 8

Composition: 8

Performance: 7

TOTAL: 23

Serbia: Ramonda performed by Teya Dora

A woe-filled song crying out for your country to be better, to remember the strength and peace that it fought for so long ago. Lilac Ramondas represent Serbians lost in WWI and the country’s post-war resurgence. The song ends with the sentiment that – even when everything is gone, out of the ashes will bloom the lilac Ramonda. I really like this and it’s a call back to Serbia’s powerful ballads from its early years in the Contest.

Lyrics: 10

Composition: 9

Performance: 10

TOTAL: 29

Portugal: Grito performed by iolanda

A beautiful ballad that is even more powerful with the a capella opening. As far as I can tell, it’s a story of a person recognizing and proclaiming their strength after overcoming and growing through their life. It’s a song of empowerment that is well-captured in the performance. It is one of the most (if not the most) artistically strong entries this year. It may be able to sneak into the Top Ten with the help of the juries.

Lyrics: 9

Composition: 10

Performance: 10

TOTAL: 29

Poland: The Tower performed by Luna

So…repetitive… And she has one of those baby-voices that was so popular in the early 2010s. A fairly clear song about taking control over one’s destiny. It’s generic enough to slip through in 8th or 9th place on Thursday night. But it’s not overly memorable.

Lyrics: 6

Composition: 8

Performance: 7

TOTAL: 21

Moldova: In the Middle performed by Natalia Barbu

I like this much more than her 2007 entry (Fight); however, I do not think it will do nearly as well (10th place). It, to me, sounds like a song dedicated to a child as a parent is attempting to encourage them to take risks and go out into the world. You can definitely tell in her vocal performance that she’s grown and matured from that young woman who saw life as a battle 17 years ago.

Lyrics: 6

Composition: 9

Performance: 8

TOTAL: 23

Luxembourg: Fighter performed by Tali

The triumphant return of Luxembourg after three decades away from the Contest. The Grand Duchy has five wins. This will not be number six, but it is a strong effort. A song about boldly entering adulthood. It’s fine if not a little Disney Channel. But I think it could qualify, but not sure after that.

Lyrics: 8

Composition: 7

Performance: 6

TOTAL: 21

Lithuania: Luktelk [Wait] performed by Silvester Belt

Deep lyrics about the suffocation of routine in a relationship heading nowhere – living for those moments of possibility, settling for the “silence of the radio.” I quite like this song. Not sure how it will do. Lithuania is generally a hard one to nail down. For now, let’s say…qualifies.

Lyrics: 10

Composition: 9

Performance: 9

TOTAL: 28

Ireland: Doomsday Blue performed by Bambie Thug

A lyrical allusion to pagan witchcraft traditions, a dark and twisted song about wishing a curse on the one who broke your heart by cheating. If it’s my doomsday – you’re going to go down with me! This is a song that is attempting to capture the same lightning Hard Rock Hallelujah did back in 2006. I cannot see this qualifying and definitely not doing well if it does.

Lyrics: 7

Composition: 8

Performance: 6

TOTAL: 21

Iceland: Scared of Heights performed by Hera Björk

The Queen of Background Singers, Hera Björk returns to Eurovision with her worst ESC song (compared to Someday in Dansk Melodi Grand Prix 2009 and Je Ne Sais Quoi which she used to represent Iceland in 2010). The song is just…so meh. I really, really want to like it but…it’s just not very good. Her voice, like always, is stellar.

Lyrics: 5

Composition: 6

Performance: 8

TOTAL: 19

Germany: Always on the Run performed by Isaak

A powerful song about trying to figure out one’s purpose in a world that so very self-contradictory. It’s an important message that people will be hesitant to vote for – both because they don’t want to do difficult self-reflection and because Europe generally does not vote for bigger guys.

Lyrics: 10

Composition: 8

Performance: 8

TOTAL: 26

Finland: No Rules! performed by Windows95man

Repetitive, annoying, and self-important. It definitely feels like the 1990s, but in a bad way. Sadly, I can see this appealing to those who long for the campy past of the Contest, though, I doubt it will get past 20th place in Grand Final. It’s just empty, dopey music.

Lyrics: 5

Composition: 8

Performance: 6

TOTAL: 19

Cyprus: Liar performed by Silia Kapsis

Fairly generic, but well-produced. I can see this doing well on Saturday if she can pull off live vocals and dance moves. It’s a good effort from Cyprus. It won’t end its reign as “most entries without a win” but it’s still good nonetheless.

Lyrics: 7

Composition: 7

Performance: 7

TOTAL: 21

Croatia: Rim Tim Tagi Dim performed by Baby Lasagna

So, apparently this song is about young Croatians leaving the country for elsewhere. I think I would like it better if it weren’t so repetitive. Definitely one of this year’s songs influenced by the success of Finland’s song Cha Cha Cha last year. Could qualify, but definitely will not finish second.

Lyrics: 6

Composition: 7

Performance: 7

TOTAL: 20

Azerbaijan: Özünlə apar [Take Me with You] performed by Fahree feat. Ilkin Dovlatov

Nice to see Azerbaijan fully embrace ethnopop this year. First time the Azerbaijani language will be represented in Eurovision competition in a significant way. I’m a sucker for this kind of ethnopop and want to say that this will do well. Azerbaijan usually qualifies easily and I see no reason why this wouldn’t. It may even get them back into the Top Ten.

Lyrics: 7

Composition: 9

Performance: 8

TOTAL: 24

Australia: One Milkali (One Blood) performed by Electric Fields

This definitely has some nice R&B vibes to it – and some more 80s vibes (like last year’s entry). This just feels like generic, feel good stuff. The incorporation of an Aboriginal language and digeridoo are nice touches, but they feel ornamental as opposed to integral. I don’t mind this song, but I’m not exactly clamoring to hear it again. It will need a lot of help to qualify.

Lyrics: 7

Composition: 7

Performance: 7

TOTAL: 21

Second Semi-Final

Switzerland: The Code performed by Nemo

A straight-forward song about the singer’s non-binary identity. And I see they went to the Lin-Manuel Miranda School of Rap Technique. This sounds very dramatic and musical. And Nemo has a fantastic voice. If they’re able to nail these vocals (and the staging isn’t a mess) then Switzerland should see itself back in the Final and left-side of the scoreboard.

Lyrics: 8

Composition: 10

Performance: 9

TOTAL: 27

Spain: Zorra [Vixen] performed by Nebulossa

A straight-forward song about female empowerment, whispered instead of shouted. It’s pleasant enough to listen to. I cannot imagine doing anything to change Spain’s recent run of misfortune, but it should at least be mid-table.

Lyrics: 8

Composition: 7

Performance: 8

TOTAL: 23

San Marino: 11:11 performed by Megara

Love when countries send songs in languages that are neither national nor English. A rock entry from San Marino – probably the best it has sent in this genre. Actually, I think this might be one of the stronger rock entries this year. This just might be San Marino’s fourth qualification. I always feel like SM is starting in a hole points-wise, so it will really struggle to get as high as it deserves, but I think the tiny country will just be happy to qualify.

Lyrics: 7

Composition: 8

Performance: 7

TOTAL: 22

Norway: Ulveham [Wolf Pelt] performed by Gåte

…interesting. It’s a folktale style rock song, complete with dark, violent lyrics. I’m a big fan of the vocalizations – like we can hear her transforming into a wolf. The whole last third of the song is just that howl-singing (probably because the original lyrics likely would be too violent for ESC). I like this.

Lyrics: 6

Composition: 8

Performance: 10

TOTAL: 24

The Netherlands: Europapa performed by Joost

This feels like someone took all the dance music trends of the past decade and smashed them into a singular, corny song. I cannot imagine this doing well short of some kind of miraculous confluence of running order, perfect staging, and crap performances by everyone else.

Lyrics: 4

Composition: 8

Performance: 8

TOTAL: 20

Malta: Loop performed by Sarah Bonnici

This could be a winner. It’s what Israel was aiming for last year with Unicorn, but it’s actually interesting and the singer can handle the song. The lyrics are simple but not in a bad way. The composition is interesting and her voice is way better than one would expect. As long as the dance break is exciting and powerful, look for this to contend for the win.

Lyrics: 7

Composition: 8

Performance: 9

TOTAL: 24

Latvia: Hollow performed by Dons

A song about trying to find oneself in a world that’s trying to define you. It’s a nice enough song and will likely qualify for the Final. However, it’s missing something. I’m just not convinced by it and am actually a bit bored by it.

Lyrics: 7

Composition: 7

Performance: 8

TOTAL: 22

Italy: La noia [Boredom] performed by Angelina Mango

The double-edged sword of becoming a pop sensation. Trapped in a cage of your own success, hounded by the red-tape of doing business, dancing for the pleasure of others without authentic personal fulfillment. Deep thoughts over an average beat.

Lyrics: 9

Composition: 6

Performance: 9

TOTAL: 24

Israel: Hurricane performed by Eden Golan

The much maligned and discussed entry. A powerfully sung ballad longing for reconnection with a lover. Her voice is amazing. The lyrics and music are a bit pedestrian but not detrimentally so. For better or worse, this will likely be last or close to it in the Semi.

Lyrics: 7

Composition: 8

Performance: 9

TOTAL: 24

Greece: ZARI [Dice] performed by Marina Satti

A song about making the bad decision to “throw the dice” with the ex that broke your heart. This is the kind of song we’re used to Greece using to dominate back in the ’00s. It’s a fantastic return to form with the bonus of being in Greek.

Lyrics: 7

Composition: 8

Performance: 8

TOTAL: 23

Georgia: Firefighter performed by Nutsa Buzaladze

A song that feels inspired by Israel’s Unicorn from last year. Inspiring, up-tempo, built to be a dance performance. Though, unlike that song, this is a something that extends beyond the singer – it’s a song about peace and striving for a world where love rules, instead of fire. I like it enough. Not sure if Europe will, though.

Lyrics: 7

Composition: 7

Performance: 7

TOTAL: 21

France: Mon Amour [My Love] performed by Slimane

A heart-breaking ballad about longing for someone who is not as invested as you are in the relationship. I just wish it was a bit more “Frenchy” – I think something like this could easily get lost on Saturday night, especially since Sweden is not known for giving the Big Five the best running order positions.

Lyrics: 8

Composition: 7

Performance: 8

TOTAL: 23

Estonia: (Nendest) narkootikumidest ei tea me (küll) midagi
[We (sure) no nothing about (these) drugs] performed by 5miinust and Puuluup

What will surely suck up all the votes of those who like silly, off-the-wall entries. The beat is definitely infectious. The song is about…wanting to have harmless fun but being prevented from doing so by “The Man” despite the fact that rich people can do whatever they want. I don’t hate it. I expect a top twelve finish.

Lyrics: 8

Composition: 10

Performance: 8

TOTAL: 26

Denmark: Sand performed by Saba

Very classic “Eurovision” this song is. I like it. I like it even more since, if I am remembering correctly, she is only the third person of color (and first woman of color) to represent Denmark. It should easily qualify but not sure it will do much more than that.

Lyrics: 7

Composition: 7

Performance: 8

TOTAL: 22

Czechia: Pedestal performed by Aiko

A song about proclaiming one’s self-worth. It is one of the few strong girl-rock songs we’ve had at ESC. It’s fine. It should qualify easily (fun how Czechia went from perennial cellar dweller to now having qualified 5 out of 7 times). I do not think it will do much more than that once it is in the Final, though.

Lyrics: 8

Composition: 7

Performance: 7

TOTAL: 22

Belgium: Before the Party’s Over performed by Mustii

I’m not quite sure what he’s going for here. So, I’m choosing to believe this is about the hollowness and unsatisfying nature of living for the party. It’s like, as the song is progressing, he’s realizing that true joy and fulfillment comes from within and from authentic connections with others. The ever-growing composition reflects this, too.

Lyrics:7

Composition: 9

Performance: 8

TOTAL: 24

Austria: We Will Rave performed by Kaleen

This has a distinct late 90s feel to it – like the era of Alice DeeJay or Darude. I don’t know, this just sounds like generic Europop to me. This will do well if her vocals and the dancers are all spot-on. Otherwise, it will flop hard.

Lyrics: 5

Composition: 7

Performance: 6

TOTAL: 18

Armenia: Jako performed by Ladaniva

This song reminds me so much of Voda (Bulgaria 2007). It’s super ethnic, high energy, long instrumental break. I’m interested to see how they capture this manic energy on stage. These things tend to go very well (like Bulgaria 2007) or very poorly (like Bulgaria 2013 – same artists as before, but just a mess of an entry). If they can pull this off, I think it can go to the Top Ten.

Lyrics: 5

Composition: 9

Performance: 9

TOTAL: 23

Albania: TiTAN performed by Besa

A generic song about empowerment and overcoming adversity. The vocal performance is nice, but not too noteworthy. The composition is simple, but charming. It should be a good performance on Thursday night with a good chance to qualify.

Lyrics: 7

Composition: 7

Performance: 8

TOTAL: 22


Grand Final – ESC 2023 Live Notes

official logo for ESC 2023

Hello Dear Readers,

Finally, the Grand Final of 2023 is upon us! Kalush Orchestra right out the gate – nice! Maybe we’ll finally see the winner’s reprise back at its proper place – opening the Grand Final. Hey! Andrew Lloyd Weber (composer and performer for UK 2009). Joss Stone? Why, she’s not ESC-related. Nor is this rapper.

Love the visualization of being united by a song – even British Royalty! Oh, here they are. Hurray for winners reprises! And a new song. Good for them, haha.

And the parade of countries.

GoA! (Ukraine 2020, 2021 – this is the 2021 song)

Jamala! (Ukraine 2016 – winner)

Tina Karol! (Ukraine 2006)

Verka Serduchka (Ukraine 2007 – one of the most popular ESC songs ever)

Finally – decent dresses for the hosts!

One final hurrah for Ireland as sole possessor of the top spot of ESC winners. And the formal announcement of Luxembourg’s return!

Twenty minutes in and we finally get the first song.

As a reminder, I predicted to Sweden to win on the back of a jury victory and strong televote, with France third and Finland fourth. Czechia and Belgium round out my pre-Contest top five prediction.

01 Austria – Who the Hell is Edgar? performed by TEYA & SALENA

Better than Thursday but still not nearly as fun or lively as expected. A song that suffered from a well-produced studio version that is not capable live. I expect this will be the lowest performing top ten betting odds country.

02 Portugal – Ai Coração performed by MimiCat

This is just as great if not better than Tuesday. Here comes the big note: Perfect! She did everything she can. I think it would be a victory to finish hig her than 20th given its draw and what it’s up against.

03 Switzerland – Watergun performed by Remo Forrer

I’ve been saying for months that this song should be taken seriously just to forsake it now. I can’t see this being able to withstand being performed third. I expect this will be 20th or below. At most, repeat last year’s high jury, no televote

04 Poland – Solo performed by BLANKA

I understand the appeal of this song. And the studio version is good. But her live vocals just leave so much to be desired. And she’s still not a great dancer.

05 Serbia – Same Mi Se Spava performed by Luke Black

His vocals are definitely more than a bit shaky. But he’s found his legs. His only hope is a big televote which I am not sure he can pull off. Likely low teens.

06 France – Évidemment performed by La Zarra

My predicted runner-up. It’s catchy and she’s gorgeous and the song is captivating even if it is lazily staged. I think she’s waiting for the big note to really turn it up. This is still only, like, 90%. Big note was fantastic! But that’s not enough to win. Heck, I’m not convinced she did enough to finish in the top five.

07 Cyprus – Break a Broken Heart performed by Andrew Lambrou

He sounds so much better than on Thursday. Still not good enough to impact the final scoreboard, but good enough to hold his own and finish mid-table.

08 Spain – Eaea performed by Blanca Paloma

She sounds perfect. The light show is mesmerizing. I think they set out everything they accomplished with this, except living up to betting odds expectations. This is just too niche to do anything higher than 14th or 15th.

Hooray for Junior ESC!

09 Sweden – Tattoo performed by Loreen

So far, it still feels like she’s holding back. What’s crazy is that this doesn’t feel like max power Loreen, yet this song feels inevitable. Is she sick? I think the door has been left open, just ajar.

10 Albania – Duje performed by Albina & The Kelmendi Family

This remains a pleasant song that will likely get polite votes, but anything above 18th would be unexpected.

11 Italy – Due Vite performed by Marco Mengoni

I still don’t understand his outfit. This is, though, the first time I’ve thought this song was superior to his 2013 one. He’s definitely turned up his performance from Tuesday.

12 Estonia – Bridges performed by ALIKA

This is, once again, beautifully performed. If she sounded like this last night, then she definitely could have done real, serious damage with the juries. I am still thinking this finishes 10th or so.

13 Finland – Cha Cha Cha performed by Käärijä

Loreen left the door open for Finland to win. It needs a flawless performance to gain a dominant enough televote to overcome its jury (presumed) jury vote. I don’t know, I don’t think that was enough – especially with major televote threats Norway and Israel yet to come.

14 Czechia – My Sister’s Crown performed by Vesna

I don’t know. This seems less good than it was on Tuesday. I was excited and moved by this earlier this week. Now, it just feels kinda meh.

15 Australia – Promise performed by Voyager

This is a live only song. Studio – meh, but live – it just works outstandingly well! It makes me actually kind of like the song. I expect jury support plus a moderate televote leads this to be yet another Top Ten finish for the Aussies.

16 Belgium – Because of You performed by Gustaph

An ode to 40-something gay men, no wonder this song is doing well. Of the ESC fanbase, a third are gay men, most of whom are of the 40-something variety. Yeah, I think this speaks to a key demographic and will likely end up Top Ten, despite its problematic nature.

I would rather the Eurovision greats just sing their ESC songs.

17 Armenia – Future Lover performed by Brunette

I love this song and think she is putting on another flawless performance. Still don’t see where the points for this song come from, but it deserves what it gets and more. I don’t think the dance break was necessary at all, but it only minimally takes away from the song.

18. Moldova – Soarele şi Luna performed by Pasha Parfeni

He sounds much better than Tuesday. I still don’t care much for this song, but it’s hard to deny that Moldova is popular among televoters, generally, and there’s no reason to suspect that this will be any different.

19. Ukraine – Heart of Steel performed by TVORCHI

Oh, even branding in the postcard. Good for them. This is better than their Thursday but still not very good. While this is still going to get sympathy votes, it’s no where as good or as well-performed as Stefania. I think this may struggle to get Top Ten.

20. Norway – Queen of the Kings performed by Alessandra

One of only a few countries I think that can stop Finland’s winning of the televote. Let’s see if she hits the big note. She got it! I think she may have just knocked Finland off the top of the televote. That was flawlessly performed and she worked the camera quite well.

21. Germany – Blood & Glitter performed by Lord of the Lost

This is not as high energy as I anticipated. Still – it stands out, it was well-performed and many stronger songs are long forgotten by this point. I think I need to move it back in to my top ten prediction.

22. Lithuania – Stay performed by Monika Linkytė

Probably my favorite song still alive in the competition. I’m still shocked it qualified. I don’t think it’s strong enough to get a lot of votes over stronger ballads that are better sung (Italy, Estonia). It’s just so earnest and honest. I love it.

23. Israel – Unicorn performed by Noa Kirel

A crap song saved by a stunning performance. Let’s see if she’s able to replicate it tonight. No. I wanna hear the song, not see you dance, haha. That was good. I think a bigger stadium reaction than at home reaction. I don’t think it has a bigger impact than Finland, Norway, or Germany.

24. Slovenia – Carpe Diem performed by Joker Out

That was as good as it gets, I think. Still not going to sniff the top ten, but it was a great effort. I think it will be one of Slovenia’s stronger finishes in recent history (already guaranteed by qualifying, haha)

25. Croatia – Mama ŠČ! performed by Let 3

That was better than Tuesday but I still think it will surprise the hardcore fans who are assuming it can win. I feel like it will fall flat, like, bottom 5 flat. I’m just not sure people will get the joke.

26. United Kingdom – I Wrote a Song performed by Mae Muller

She sounds a lot better than she did on Thursday. The rapping is so unnecessary and bad. Oh – they changed the big note to make it a bit more achievable. The UK should be proud but I’m not sure that was enough to come up to it’s expectations (currently eighth in the betting odds).


Well, there you have it, 26 songs. One of which will be crowned the new winner. Based solely on tonight, what is my personal top ten?

10. Australia
9. Sweden
8. Portugal
7. Armenia
6. Slovenia
5. Norway
4. France
3. Estonia
2. Lithuania
1. Italy

But who do I predict will finish in the Top Ten?

I think this is surprisingly easy to an extent: Sweden, Finland, France, Australia, Germany, Norway, Italy, and Belgium.

The difficulty comes in predicting those last two. I think it should be at least one ballad, and I think, seriously, that goes between Lithuania and Estonia. I think, based on tonight’s performances, I still have to give the edge to Estonia. Lastly, I think the final spot comes down to a few captivating stagings and performances. Ultimately, despite myself, I think I have to guess that Israel did enough to make it into the top ten.

But, who do I think will win?

Sweden. I won’t mince my words. Sweden is by far the best whole package. I think it will easily win the jury vote and finish third in the televote. I don’t think either song finishing ahead of it in the televote (I would predict Finland and Norway) will finish top five in the jury. And I don’t think any major jury contender (Italy, Lithuania, France) will finish top five in the televote.


Sam Ryder’s song was nice. And it’s always nice to see a past host and other legends of the Contest.

I wonder how they chose who would sing what song. Mahmoud (Italy 2019 (2nd), Italy 2022) singing Imagine is an interesting choice. Again, I would much prefer these people to just do their own ESC songs. But I guess it’s traditional for the host city to highlight itself. Netta (Israel 2018 – winner) singing Dead or Alive seems right. Daði Freyr (Iceland 2020, 2021) with an army of backing dancers, haha. Nice to have him here since he couldn’t sing live in 2021 due to COVID striking his band. Cornelia Jakobs (Sweden 2022) is a talent that should have blown up after Eurovision last year. And here she is seeing the hit of a former Spice Girl. The runner-up in 1993 that has since become a major gay anthem among British gay men of a certain age (the same ones voting for Belgium). Duncan Laurence (Netherlands 2019 – winner) is another person who should have had a career post-ESC but didn’t really get it going on a major scale.

Again, save the performances for the interval act. Go back to having a 15 minute voting window and fill that time with goofy videos and bad jokes. Then do all the big performances after we cast votes for our favorite songs. Don’t try to wash them out of our minds.


My full prediction:

1. Sweden

2. France

3. Finland

4. Ukraine

5. Norway

6. Italy

7. Belgium

8. Australia

9. Israel

10. Germany

11. Slovenia

12. Poland

13. Czechia

14. Moldova

15. Croatia

16. Estonia

17. United Kingdom

18. Cyprus

19. Lithuania

20. Austria

21. Serbia

22. Armenia

23. Switzerland

24. Albania

25. Spain

26. Portugal


Okay! Time for the jury results!

49% jury/51% televote, fyi, thanks to the Rest of the World televote this year.

As tradition holds, the previous host (or, in this case, the defending champion) goes first.

Ukraine – 12 to Sweden! Only 4 to UK

Italy – look at that, 10 for Ukraine. 12 to Israel!

Latvia – 12 to Estonia, no surprise there

Netherlands – not gonna lie, I assumed it would be 12 for Belgium not Sweden

Malta – 12 to Sweden, no surprise, nothing for UK, though.

Moldova – 12 to Sweden. Okay, starting to look strong for Tattoo but the night is early.

Ireland – only 2 to UK! 12 to Sweden

San Marino – 12 to Italy, No. surprise. there.

Azerbaijan – 12 to Israel. Not gonna lie, Israel is doing better than expected

Austria – 12 to Italy! Zero to Germany

France – 12 to Israel, that’s quite unexpected! Usually juries don’t go for the dance songs.

Finland – 12 points…to Sweden. Norway is struggling!

Belgium – only 1 for France!!! And 12 to Austria!

Germany – 12 to Sweden!

Germany and Croatia are the only ones with out any points thus far

Portugal – 12 to Australia! The Aussies do well with the juries.

Croatia – 12 to Italy! only a few for “friends” Slovenia and Serbia

Estonia – 12 points to Sweden. In case didn’t notice, Finland has quietly snuck up to fourth

Armenia – 12 to Israel! Israel, biggest beneficiaries of Russia being gone, haha

Poland – 12 more to Israel

Romania – 7 points to Moldova, 12 to Italy!

This host does realize that Loreen was the winning performer in 2012, right? And it was a dominant win?

Iceland – 4, 7, 10 for Norway, Sweden, and Finland, respectively. Another 12 for Israel? Nope – Australia!

Serbia – 12 points to Slovenia! One of the few 12 pointers in Slovenian ESC history

Cyprus – who gets their 12 points without Greece being around? Sweden!

Norway – 12 points to…Finland! Perhaps Cha Cha Cha has a better chance than anticipated.

Switzerland – 12 for Czechia! Not what I would have guessed but good on them

Oh! Germany has been rescued from nil points land.

Australia – 12 for Belgium!

Denmark – a Danish 12-pointer to Sweden, like so many times before

Spain – 12 points to Sweden!

Israel – 12 to Sweden, which now has 277 points

Sweden – helps second place Italy get to 148…. 12 points to Finland

Georgia – always unpredictable…12 to Belgium!

Czechia – 12 to Ukraine! Glad they got something, haha

Slovenia – 12 to Italy, unsurprisingly

Greece – Only 4 to Cyprus?!! Hence the big reaction from the audience. 12 to Belgium!

Albania – Adds to Sweden’s lead with another 12

Lithuania – 12 points to Sweden (Italy gets blanked! as Israel moves to just one point behind)

Final jury votes…

United Kingdom – only 10 for Australia…so 12 for Sweden? Yep!

Sweden has DOMINATED the juries, 163 more than second place(!) Israel. And 190 points more than Finland.

Here comes the televotes!

Germany: I’m expecting a good sized televote. Let’s see…15 points! Yikes

Croatia – 112 points, not too much, actually. Europe did not get the joke.

Poland – 81 points, sounds about right, haha

Serbia – 16 points, oof.

The UK – 9 points! That seems harsh

Albania – 59 points, okay

Moldova – 76 points, a little low, actually

Slovenia – only 45 points, awwwww

Portugal – only 16 points, sadly

Norway – 216! Wowzas!

France – 50 points, oof!

Ukraine – 189 points

Switzerland – only 31 points

Cyprus – 58 points

Armenia – 53 points

Lithuania – 46 points, ouch

Czechia – 35 points. That’s the Czechia we know and are disappointed by

Spain – 5 points — I knew Europe wouldn’t get it.

Austria – 16 points, anther big betting odds favorite disappointed

Belgium – 55 points

Australia – 21 points

Estonia – 22 points

Finland – 376 points!!! That was to be expected given just how few points had been awarded thus far.

Italy – 174 points, not bad

Israel’s turn

Israel – 185 points!

Sweden needs 186 to tie, 187 to win

Sweden – ….has received….243 points

Sweden now ties Ireland for most wins at 7.
Loreen now becomes only the second performing artist to be the performer for two different winners (Johnny Logan, Ireland 1980, 1987 being the other). Loreen was the singer for Euphoria back in 2012 and now wins again with Tattoo.
And, I was 8/10 for predicting the Top Ten (Sweden, Finland, Israel, Italy, Norway, Ukraine, Belgium, Australia).

Sweden was the appointed winner the moment Tattoo was announced as participating in Melfest. Its odds narrowed and lengthened, but it was always number one. Now, as ESC approached, other countries stood up to challenge. Tonight, there’s hope but never opportunity for any one else to win. Sure, Finland won the televote, but Sweden’s dominance among the juries was massive – one of the largest leads to date. Congratulations to Sweden, to Loreen, and the songwriters, composers, and producers of Tattoo – the song and the staging.

Thank you, dear readers, for joining me for another Eurovision Week! Come back in the following days for further anaylsis.


Final Predictions Ahead of ESC 2023 Grand Final

official logo for ESC 2023

Hello Dear Readers,

Today is the Grand Final! In just a few hours, we’ll have a new “best” song in Europe and know where we’re heading next year. First, let’s look at our finalists, in running order.

  1. Austria – Who the Hell is Edgar? performed by TEYA & SALENA

  2. Portugal – Ai Coração performed by MimiCat

  3. Switzerland – Watergun performed by Remo Forrer

  4. Poland – Solo performed by BLANKA

  5. Serbia – Samo Mi Se Spava performed by Luke Black

  6. France – Évidemment performed by La Zarra

  7. Cyprus – Break a Broken Heart performed by Andrew Lambrou

  8. Spain – Eaea performed by Blanca Paloma

  9. Sweden – Tattoo performed by Loreen

  10. Albania – Duje performed by Albina & The Kelmendi Family

  11. Italy – Due Vite performed by Marco Mengoni

  12. Estonia – Bridges performed by ALIKA

  13. Finland – Cha Cha Cha performed by Käärijä

  14. Czechia – My Sister’s Crown performed by Vesna

  15. Australia – Promise performed by Voyager

  16. Belgium – Because of You performed by Gustaph

  17. Armenia – Future Lover performed by Brunette

  18. Moldova – Soarele şi Luna performed by Pasha Parfeni

  19. Ukraine – Heart of Steel performed by TVORCHI

  20. Norway – King of Queens performed by Alessandra

  21. Germany – Blood & Glitter performed by Lord of the Lost

  22. Lithuania – Stay performed by Monika Linkytė

  23. Israel – Unicorn performed by Noa Kirel

  24. Slovenia – Carpe Diem performed by Joker Out

  25. Croatia – Mama ŠČ! performed by Let 3

  26. United Kingdom – I Wrote a Song performed by Mae Muller

Like with the two semi-finals, I’m a bit baffled by many choices. Why start with quirky Austria? Poland would be a much more conventional uptempo song to lead with. I understand that they want as much separation between Sweden and Finland, but why surround Sweden with two other, female-led wailing songs? Why immediately follow crazy Finland with cultish Czechia? Belgium and Armenia sound natural next to each other and then I remember it’s because they’re both soulful songs – I thought the whole point of producer-made running orders was to split up similar songs?

Since the Contest expanded and there have been a consistent 24~27 songs in the final, winners usually come from running order positions 10-13 and 17-20, with the occasional 22 winning. Since the producers have taken over the running order, this has become even more consistent. So, this tells me that 1) I was right in assuming Croatia wasn’t going to seriously compete, Austria and Portugal must have barely qualified, as first position only has one (or two?) winners while the second position has zero winners. It also makes me think that Estonia did better than anticipated (beyond just qualifying), while Lithuania is merely a palate-cleanser between Germany and Israel.

So, how does all this effect my predictions?

A lot, actually, I’ve been shifting things around since Thursday night. I finally have my final predictions.

Bottom Ten (in no particular order)

  • Croatia – there’s very little hope for jury support and there are better songs that will get the televote

  • Portugal – it’s fun and quirky, but not a strong entry

  • Spain – I think it’s just too out there for most people

  • Albania – By virtue of someone has to be in the bottom ten, why not Albania?

  • Lithuania – There are stronger, more popular ballads this year, unfortunately, as this is one of my favorites this year.

  • Armenia – Like Lithuania, it’s a great song but I do not see a pathway to votes over more popular entries.

  • Cyprus – In the Grand Final, diaspora voting will have less of an effect, even with it being able to soak up all the Greek votes, I don’t think it will be enough.

  • Serbia – Like Spain, I think this is too out there to get anything more than a moderate televote and low jury score.

  • Poland – Like Cyprus, the Polish diaspora will not be able to carry this song on its own in the Final like it could in the Semi.

  • Switzerland – I have been singing this song’s praises but its running order position tells me it just does not have any real, lasting support.

Middle of the Table (places 11-16)

  • Austria – I think a lot of the goodwill it had coming was lost with its subdued semi-final performance, they’d have to really turn things up to make any noise

  • Israel – I’m not ready to put this song int he top ten, despite its awesome dance number. Too many televote points will be going to Finland and France and Sweden for this one to move up that high without jury support.

  • Germany – I really think this song has Top Ten potential, but just cannot see my way to removing any of the songs I predicted to finish high

  • United Kingdom – This is a fun song and performing last may not be a complete death knell, but it will limit how high it can soar.

  • Slovenia – A great song! Slovenia’s best efforts tend to still fall short of the Top Ten, sadly, and I think this will do the same.

  • Moldova – Moldova generally does well with this kind of song. Even if Pasha Parfeni comes off as tired as he did on Tuesday, should still be good from mid-table.

Top Ten

  • Sweden – C’mon, likely to win the jury

  • Estonia – I’m shocked it qualified and has such a sweet position in the running order. I think this has an edge over Lithuania, which is in the same position.

  • Finland – C’mon, likely to win the televote

  • Belgium – This song will do surprisingly well, I think, with both sets of point givers leading to an unexpected Top Ten. This is how one properly panders to the gays – with a song that reminds them of the era most of them are from.

  • Australia – Australia does well with the juries and Thursday it proved it can win the hearts of televoters. The staging and performance are perfect.

  • Ukraine – Likely to still have a lot of good will. Probably will be in 5-10, though. The song and performance just aren’t very strong.

  • Norway – The biggest challenger to Finland, I think, to win the televote and likely will outperform it with the jury since it is a female empowerment song and not in Finnish.

  • Czechia – The staging and performance are perfect and it aims to unite all of the Slavic peoples of Europe — that’s a lot of voters and jurors.

  • Italy – C’mon. This is the stuff Italy puts out constantly and just waltzes into the Top Ten

  • France – I think the biggest contender to against Sweden to win the jury vote.

Final Pre-Show Choice:

Ultimately, I think that this will come down to Sweden’s lead in the jury to Finland’s lead in the televote. While Sweden has struggled with the televote lately, I think this year will be different. Whereas Cha Cha Cha is very much (usually) not a thing the juries go for. As such, I think France is a much better contender to take the crown than Finland. However, if there’s one country with strong entries that flops more with the televote than Sweden, it’s France.

My prediction for winner is Sweden