Eurovision 2023 – Liverpool

Grand Final – ESC 2023 Live Notes

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Hello Dear Readers,

Finally, the Grand Final of 2023 is upon us! Kalush Orchestra right out the gate – nice! Maybe we’ll finally see the winner’s reprise back at its proper place – opening the Grand Final. Hey! Andrew Lloyd Weber (composer and performer for UK 2009). Joss Stone? Why, she’s not ESC-related. Nor is this rapper.

Love the visualization of being united by a song – even British Royalty! Oh, here they are. Hurray for winners reprises! And a new song. Good for them, haha.

And the parade of countries.

GoA! (Ukraine 2020, 2021 – this is the 2021 song)

Jamala! (Ukraine 2016 – winner)

Tina Karol! (Ukraine 2006)

Verka Serduchka (Ukraine 2007 – one of the most popular ESC songs ever)

Finally – decent dresses for the hosts!

One final hurrah for Ireland as sole possessor of the top spot of ESC winners. And the formal announcement of Luxembourg’s return!

Twenty minutes in and we finally get the first song.

As a reminder, I predicted to Sweden to win on the back of a jury victory and strong televote, with France third and Finland fourth. Czechia and Belgium round out my pre-Contest top five prediction.

01 Austria – Who the Hell is Edgar? performed by TEYA & SALENA

Better than Thursday but still not nearly as fun or lively as expected. A song that suffered from a well-produced studio version that is not capable live. I expect this will be the lowest performing top ten betting odds country.

02 Portugal – Ai Coração performed by MimiCat

This is just as great if not better than Tuesday. Here comes the big note: Perfect! She did everything she can. I think it would be a victory to finish hig her than 20th given its draw and what it’s up against.

03 Switzerland – Watergun performed by Remo Forrer

I’ve been saying for months that this song should be taken seriously just to forsake it now. I can’t see this being able to withstand being performed third. I expect this will be 20th or below. At most, repeat last year’s high jury, no televote

04 Poland – Solo performed by BLANKA

I understand the appeal of this song. And the studio version is good. But her live vocals just leave so much to be desired. And she’s still not a great dancer.

05 Serbia – Same Mi Se Spava performed by Luke Black

His vocals are definitely more than a bit shaky. But he’s found his legs. His only hope is a big televote which I am not sure he can pull off. Likely low teens.

06 France – Évidemment performed by La Zarra

My predicted runner-up. It’s catchy and she’s gorgeous and the song is captivating even if it is lazily staged. I think she’s waiting for the big note to really turn it up. This is still only, like, 90%. Big note was fantastic! But that’s not enough to win. Heck, I’m not convinced she did enough to finish in the top five.

07 Cyprus – Break a Broken Heart performed by Andrew Lambrou

He sounds so much better than on Thursday. Still not good enough to impact the final scoreboard, but good enough to hold his own and finish mid-table.

08 Spain – Eaea performed by Blanca Paloma

She sounds perfect. The light show is mesmerizing. I think they set out everything they accomplished with this, except living up to betting odds expectations. This is just too niche to do anything higher than 14th or 15th.

Hooray for Junior ESC!

09 Sweden – Tattoo performed by Loreen

So far, it still feels like she’s holding back. What’s crazy is that this doesn’t feel like max power Loreen, yet this song feels inevitable. Is she sick? I think the door has been left open, just ajar.

10 Albania – Duje performed by Albina & The Kelmendi Family

This remains a pleasant song that will likely get polite votes, but anything above 18th would be unexpected.

11 Italy – Due Vite performed by Marco Mengoni

I still don’t understand his outfit. This is, though, the first time I’ve thought this song was superior to his 2013 one. He’s definitely turned up his performance from Tuesday.

12 Estonia – Bridges performed by ALIKA

This is, once again, beautifully performed. If she sounded like this last night, then she definitely could have done real, serious damage with the juries. I am still thinking this finishes 10th or so.

13 Finland – Cha Cha Cha performed by Käärijä

Loreen left the door open for Finland to win. It needs a flawless performance to gain a dominant enough televote to overcome its jury (presumed) jury vote. I don’t know, I don’t think that was enough – especially with major televote threats Norway and Israel yet to come.

14 Czechia – My Sister’s Crown performed by Vesna

I don’t know. This seems less good than it was on Tuesday. I was excited and moved by this earlier this week. Now, it just feels kinda meh.

15 Australia – Promise performed by Voyager

This is a live only song. Studio – meh, but live – it just works outstandingly well! It makes me actually kind of like the song. I expect jury support plus a moderate televote leads this to be yet another Top Ten finish for the Aussies.

16 Belgium – Because of You performed by Gustaph

An ode to 40-something gay men, no wonder this song is doing well. Of the ESC fanbase, a third are gay men, most of whom are of the 40-something variety. Yeah, I think this speaks to a key demographic and will likely end up Top Ten, despite its problematic nature.

I would rather the Eurovision greats just sing their ESC songs.

17 Armenia – Future Lover performed by Brunette

I love this song and think she is putting on another flawless performance. Still don’t see where the points for this song come from, but it deserves what it gets and more. I don’t think the dance break was necessary at all, but it only minimally takes away from the song.

18. Moldova – Soarele şi Luna performed by Pasha Parfeni

He sounds much better than Tuesday. I still don’t care much for this song, but it’s hard to deny that Moldova is popular among televoters, generally, and there’s no reason to suspect that this will be any different.

19. Ukraine – Heart of Steel performed by TVORCHI

Oh, even branding in the postcard. Good for them. This is better than their Thursday but still not very good. While this is still going to get sympathy votes, it’s no where as good or as well-performed as Stefania. I think this may struggle to get Top Ten.

20. Norway – Queen of the Kings performed by Alessandra

One of only a few countries I think that can stop Finland’s winning of the televote. Let’s see if she hits the big note. She got it! I think she may have just knocked Finland off the top of the televote. That was flawlessly performed and she worked the camera quite well.

21. Germany – Blood & Glitter performed by Lord of the Lost

This is not as high energy as I anticipated. Still – it stands out, it was well-performed and many stronger songs are long forgotten by this point. I think I need to move it back in to my top ten prediction.

22. Lithuania – Stay performed by Monika Linkytė

Probably my favorite song still alive in the competition. I’m still shocked it qualified. I don’t think it’s strong enough to get a lot of votes over stronger ballads that are better sung (Italy, Estonia). It’s just so earnest and honest. I love it.

23. Israel – Unicorn performed by Noa Kirel

A crap song saved by a stunning performance. Let’s see if she’s able to replicate it tonight. No. I wanna hear the song, not see you dance, haha. That was good. I think a bigger stadium reaction than at home reaction. I don’t think it has a bigger impact than Finland, Norway, or Germany.

24. Slovenia – Carpe Diem performed by Joker Out

That was as good as it gets, I think. Still not going to sniff the top ten, but it was a great effort. I think it will be one of Slovenia’s stronger finishes in recent history (already guaranteed by qualifying, haha)

25. Croatia – Mama ŠČ! performed by Let 3

That was better than Tuesday but I still think it will surprise the hardcore fans who are assuming it can win. I feel like it will fall flat, like, bottom 5 flat. I’m just not sure people will get the joke.

26. United Kingdom – I Wrote a Song performed by Mae Muller

She sounds a lot better than she did on Thursday. The rapping is so unnecessary and bad. Oh – they changed the big note to make it a bit more achievable. The UK should be proud but I’m not sure that was enough to come up to it’s expectations (currently eighth in the betting odds).

Well, there you have it, 26 songs. One of which will be crowned the new winner. Based solely on tonight, what is my personal top ten?

10. Australia
9. Sweden
8. Portugal
7. Armenia
6. Slovenia
5. Norway
4. France
3. Estonia
2. Lithuania
1. Italy

But who do I predict will finish in the Top Ten?

I think this is surprisingly easy to an extent: Sweden, Finland, France, Australia, Germany, Norway, Italy, and Belgium.

The difficulty comes in predicting those last two. I think it should be at least one ballad, and I think, seriously, that goes between Lithuania and Estonia. I think, based on tonight’s performances, I still have to give the edge to Estonia. Lastly, I think the final spot comes down to a few captivating stagings and performances. Ultimately, despite myself, I think I have to guess that Israel did enough to make it into the top ten.

But, who do I think will win?

Sweden. I won’t mince my words. Sweden is by far the best whole package. I think it will easily win the jury vote and finish third in the televote. I don’t think either song finishing ahead of it in the televote (I would predict Finland and Norway) will finish top five in the jury. And I don’t think any major jury contender (Italy, Lithuania, France) will finish top five in the televote.

Sam Ryder’s song was nice. And it’s always nice to see a past host and other legends of the Contest.

I wonder how they chose who would sing what song. Mahmoud (Italy 2019 (2nd), Italy 2022) singing Imagine is an interesting choice. Again, I would much prefer these people to just do their own ESC songs. But I guess it’s traditional for the host city to highlight itself. Netta (Israel 2018 – winner) singing Dead or Alive seems right. Daði Freyr (Iceland 2020, 2021) with an army of backing dancers, haha. Nice to have him here since he couldn’t sing live in 2021 due to COVID striking his band. Cornelia Jakobs (Sweden 2022) is a talent that should have blown up after Eurovision last year. And here she is seeing the hit of a former Spice Girl. The runner-up in 1993 that has since become a major gay anthem among British gay men of a certain age (the same ones voting for Belgium). Duncan Laurence (Netherlands 2019 – winner) is another person who should have had a career post-ESC but didn’t really get it going on a major scale.

Again, save the performances for the interval act. Go back to having a 15 minute voting window and fill that time with goofy videos and bad jokes. Then do all the big performances after we cast votes for our favorite songs. Don’t try to wash them out of our minds.

My full prediction:

1. Sweden

2. France

3. Finland

4. Ukraine

5. Norway

6. Italy

7. Belgium

8. Australia

9. Israel

10. Germany

11. Slovenia

12. Poland

13. Czechia

14. Moldova

15. Croatia

16. Estonia

17. United Kingdom

18. Cyprus

19. Lithuania

20. Austria

21. Serbia

22. Armenia

23. Switzerland

24. Albania

25. Spain

26. Portugal

Okay! Time for the jury results!

49% jury/51% televote, fyi, thanks to the Rest of the World televote this year.

As tradition holds, the previous host (or, in this case, the defending champion) goes first.

Ukraine – 12 to Sweden! Only 4 to UK

Italy – look at that, 10 for Ukraine. 12 to Israel!

Latvia – 12 to Estonia, no surprise there

Netherlands – not gonna lie, I assumed it would be 12 for Belgium not Sweden

Malta – 12 to Sweden, no surprise, nothing for UK, though.

Moldova – 12 to Sweden. Okay, starting to look strong for Tattoo but the night is early.

Ireland – only 2 to UK! 12 to Sweden

San Marino – 12 to Italy, No. surprise. there.

Azerbaijan – 12 to Israel. Not gonna lie, Israel is doing better than expected

Austria – 12 to Italy! Zero to Germany

France – 12 to Israel, that’s quite unexpected! Usually juries don’t go for the dance songs.

Finland – 12 points…to Sweden. Norway is struggling!

Belgium – only 1 for France!!! And 12 to Austria!

Germany – 12 to Sweden!

Germany and Croatia are the only ones with out any points thus far

Portugal – 12 to Australia! The Aussies do well with the juries.

Croatia – 12 to Italy! only a few for “friends” Slovenia and Serbia

Estonia – 12 points to Sweden. In case didn’t notice, Finland has quietly snuck up to fourth

Armenia – 12 to Israel! Israel, biggest beneficiaries of Russia being gone, haha

Poland – 12 more to Israel

Romania – 7 points to Moldova, 12 to Italy!

This host does realize that Loreen was the winning performer in 2012, right? And it was a dominant win?

Iceland – 4, 7, 10 for Norway, Sweden, and Finland, respectively. Another 12 for Israel? Nope – Australia!

Serbia – 12 points to Slovenia! One of the few 12 pointers in Slovenian ESC history

Cyprus – who gets their 12 points without Greece being around? Sweden!

Norway – 12 points to…Finland! Perhaps Cha Cha Cha has a better chance than anticipated.

Switzerland – 12 for Czechia! Not what I would have guessed but good on them

Oh! Germany has been rescued from nil points land.

Australia – 12 for Belgium!

Denmark – a Danish 12-pointer to Sweden, like so many times before

Spain – 12 points to Sweden!

Israel – 12 to Sweden, which now has 277 points

Sweden – helps second place Italy get to 148…. 12 points to Finland

Georgia – always unpredictable…12 to Belgium!

Czechia – 12 to Ukraine! Glad they got something, haha

Slovenia – 12 to Italy, unsurprisingly

Greece – Only 4 to Cyprus?!! Hence the big reaction from the audience. 12 to Belgium!

Albania – Adds to Sweden’s lead with another 12

Lithuania – 12 points to Sweden (Italy gets blanked! as Israel moves to just one point behind)

Final jury votes…

United Kingdom – only 10 for Australia…so 12 for Sweden? Yep!

Sweden has DOMINATED the juries, 163 more than second place(!) Israel. And 190 points more than Finland.

Here comes the televotes!

Germany: I’m expecting a good sized televote. Let’s see…15 points! Yikes

Croatia – 112 points, not too much, actually. Europe did not get the joke.

Poland – 81 points, sounds about right, haha

Serbia – 16 points, oof.

The UK – 9 points! That seems harsh

Albania – 59 points, okay

Moldova – 76 points, a little low, actually

Slovenia – only 45 points, awwwww

Portugal – only 16 points, sadly

Norway – 216! Wowzas!

France – 50 points, oof!

Ukraine – 189 points

Switzerland – only 31 points

Cyprus – 58 points

Armenia – 53 points

Lithuania – 46 points, ouch

Czechia – 35 points. That’s the Czechia we know and are disappointed by

Spain – 5 points — I knew Europe wouldn’t get it.

Austria – 16 points, anther big betting odds favorite disappointed

Belgium – 55 points

Australia – 21 points

Estonia – 22 points

Finland – 376 points!!! That was to be expected given just how few points had been awarded thus far.

Italy – 174 points, not bad

Israel’s turn

Israel – 185 points!

Sweden needs 186 to tie, 187 to win

Sweden – ….has received….243 points

Sweden now ties Ireland for most wins at 7.
Loreen now becomes only the second performing artist to be the performer for two different winners (Johnny Logan, Ireland 1980, 1987 being the other). Loreen was the singer for Euphoria back in 2012 and now wins again with Tattoo.
And, I was 8/10 for predicting the Top Ten (Sweden, Finland, Israel, Italy, Norway, Ukraine, Belgium, Australia).

Sweden was the appointed winner the moment Tattoo was announced as participating in Melfest. Its odds narrowed and lengthened, but it was always number one. Now, as ESC approached, other countries stood up to challenge. Tonight, there’s hope but never opportunity for any one else to win. Sure, Finland won the televote, but Sweden’s dominance among the juries was massive – one of the largest leads to date. Congratulations to Sweden, to Loreen, and the songwriters, composers, and producers of Tattoo – the song and the staging.

Thank you, dear readers, for joining me for another Eurovision Week! Come back in the following days for further anaylsis.

May 13, 2023 | Categories: Eurovision 2023 - Liverpool, Live Commentary on the Night | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Final Predictions Ahead of ESC 2023 Grand Final

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Hello Dear Readers,

Today is the Grand Final! In just a few hours, we’ll have a new “best” song in Europe and know where we’re heading next year. First, let’s look at our finalists, in running order.

  1. Austria – Who the Hell is Edgar? performed by TEYA & SALENA

  2. Portugal – Ai Coração performed by MimiCat

  3. Switzerland – Watergun performed by Remo Forrer

  4. Poland – Solo performed by BLANKA

  5. Serbia – Samo Mi Se Spava performed by Luke Black

  6. France – Évidemment performed by La Zarra

  7. Cyprus – Break a Broken Heart performed by Andrew Lambrou

  8. Spain – Eaea performed by Blanca Paloma

  9. Sweden – Tattoo performed by Loreen

  10. Albania – Duje performed by Albina & The Kelmendi Family

  11. Italy – Due Vite performed by Marco Mengoni

  12. Estonia – Bridges performed by ALIKA

  13. Finland – Cha Cha Cha performed by Käärijä

  14. Czechia – My Sister’s Crown performed by Vesna

  15. Australia – Promise performed by Voyager

  16. Belgium – Because of You performed by Gustaph

  17. Armenia – Future Lover performed by Brunette

  18. Moldova – Soarele şi Luna performed by Pasha Parfeni

  19. Ukraine – Heart of Steel performed by TVORCHI

  20. Norway – King of Queens performed by Alessandra

  21. Germany – Blood & Glitter performed by Lord of the Lost

  22. Lithuania – Stay performed by Monika Linkytė

  23. Israel – Unicorn performed by Noa Kirel

  24. Slovenia – Carpe Diem performed by Joker Out

  25. Croatia – Mama ŠČ! performed by Let 3

  26. United Kingdom – I Wrote a Song performed by Mae Muller

Like with the two semi-finals, I’m a bit baffled by many choices. Why start with quirky Austria? Poland would be a much more conventional uptempo song to lead with. I understand that they want as much separation between Sweden and Finland, but why surround Sweden with two other, female-led wailing songs? Why immediately follow crazy Finland with cultish Czechia? Belgium and Armenia sound natural next to each other and then I remember it’s because they’re both soulful songs – I thought the whole point of producer-made running orders was to split up similar songs?

Since the Contest expanded and there have been a consistent 24~27 songs in the final, winners usually come from running order positions 10-13 and 17-20, with the occasional 22 winning. Since the producers have taken over the running order, this has become even more consistent. So, this tells me that 1) I was right in assuming Croatia wasn’t going to seriously compete, Austria and Portugal must have barely qualified, as first position only has one (or two?) winners while the second position has zero winners. It also makes me think that Estonia did better than anticipated (beyond just qualifying), while Lithuania is merely a palate-cleanser between Germany and Israel.

So, how does all this effect my predictions?

A lot, actually, I’ve been shifting things around since Thursday night. I finally have my final predictions.

Bottom Ten (in no particular order)

  • Croatia – there’s very little hope for jury support and there are better songs that will get the televote

  • Portugal – it’s fun and quirky, but not a strong entry

  • Spain – I think it’s just too out there for most people

  • Albania – By virtue of someone has to be in the bottom ten, why not Albania?

  • Lithuania – There are stronger, more popular ballads this year, unfortunately, as this is one of my favorites this year.

  • Armenia – Like Lithuania, it’s a great song but I do not see a pathway to votes over more popular entries.

  • Cyprus – In the Grand Final, diaspora voting will have less of an effect, even with it being able to soak up all the Greek votes, I don’t think it will be enough.

  • Serbia – Like Spain, I think this is too out there to get anything more than a moderate televote and low jury score.

  • Poland – Like Cyprus, the Polish diaspora will not be able to carry this song on its own in the Final like it could in the Semi.

  • Switzerland – I have been singing this song’s praises but its running order position tells me it just does not have any real, lasting support.

Middle of the Table (places 11-16)

  • Austria – I think a lot of the goodwill it had coming was lost with its subdued semi-final performance, they’d have to really turn things up to make any noise

  • Israel – I’m not ready to put this song int he top ten, despite its awesome dance number. Too many televote points will be going to Finland and France and Sweden for this one to move up that high without jury support.

  • Germany – I really think this song has Top Ten potential, but just cannot see my way to removing any of the songs I predicted to finish high

  • United Kingdom – This is a fun song and performing last may not be a complete death knell, but it will limit how high it can soar.

  • Slovenia – A great song! Slovenia’s best efforts tend to still fall short of the Top Ten, sadly, and I think this will do the same.

  • Moldova – Moldova generally does well with this kind of song. Even if Pasha Parfeni comes off as tired as he did on Tuesday, should still be good from mid-table.

Top Ten

  • Sweden – C’mon, likely to win the jury

  • Estonia – I’m shocked it qualified and has such a sweet position in the running order. I think this has an edge over Lithuania, which is in the same position.

  • Finland – C’mon, likely to win the televote

  • Belgium – This song will do surprisingly well, I think, with both sets of point givers leading to an unexpected Top Ten. This is how one properly panders to the gays – with a song that reminds them of the era most of them are from.

  • Australia – Australia does well with the juries and Thursday it proved it can win the hearts of televoters. The staging and performance are perfect.

  • Ukraine – Likely to still have a lot of good will. Probably will be in 5-10, though. The song and performance just aren’t very strong.

  • Norway – The biggest challenger to Finland, I think, to win the televote and likely will outperform it with the jury since it is a female empowerment song and not in Finnish.

  • Czechia – The staging and performance are perfect and it aims to unite all of the Slavic peoples of Europe — that’s a lot of voters and jurors.

  • Italy – C’mon. This is the stuff Italy puts out constantly and just waltzes into the Top Ten

  • France – I think the biggest contender to against Sweden to win the jury vote.

Final Pre-Show Choice:

Ultimately, I think that this will come down to Sweden’s lead in the jury to Finland’s lead in the televote. While Sweden has struggled with the televote lately, I think this year will be different. Whereas Cha Cha Cha is very much (usually) not a thing the juries go for. As such, I think France is a much better contender to take the crown than Finland. However, if there’s one country with strong entries that flops more with the televote than Sweden, it’s France.

My prediction for winner is Sweden

May 13, 2023 | Categories: Eurovision 2023 - Liverpool | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

ESC 2023 – Semi-Final Two

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Hello Dear Readers!

It is the Second Semi-Final of the 67th Eurovision Song Contest in Liverpool. Once again, I am watching it a few hours behind the original broadcast thanks to being in the US and working. But – these are indeed my initial thoughts upon my first viewing of Semi 2. Going into tonight, I already know that this is the weaker semi-final, with an average betting odds ranking of 23.23 compared to the semi-finals on Tuesday (15.6). Should be an interesting show.

As a reminder, competing tonight are:

Denmark, Armenia, Romania, Estonia, Belgium, Cyprus, Iceland, Greece, Poland, Slovenia, Georgia, San Marino, Austria, Lithuania, Australia.

We will also see the first performances of Spain, Ukraine, and the United Kingdom (the automatic qualifiers who will be voting tonight). The televoting public from these 19 countries alongside a collated “Rest of the World” televote will be 100% of the determining factor of who qualifies tonight.

As a reminder, I predicted the qualifiers would be:

Austria, Denmark, Armenia, Greece, Slovenia, Australia, Cyprus, Georgia, Albania, and San Marino

Alright – let’s hit play!

Alesha Dixon and Hannah are a bit better dressed, but what is that blue monstrosity? So, no opening act, just straight into it. Cool, cool.

01 Denmark – Breaking My Heart performed by Reiley

Reiley is actually the first performer to come from the Faroe Islands (a small territory belonging to Denmark north of Great Britain). Oh, his vocals are terrible. And the refrain there weren’t really vocal effects, just like a mechanical voice. The staging is really awesome – with the use of bright colors, the spinning set of walls. Oh – and there goes a bit that he should have been singing but some unseen backing vocalist did.

02 Armenia – Future Lover performed by Brunette

I am loving this lighting – the bright fuchsia and pink. This feel so much more toned down than the studio version. Just a beautiful, intimate presentation of the song. Why is there a dance break? This does feel like something that fell out of a musical, so maybe the dancing is a part of that?

03 Romania – D.G.T. (Off and On) performed by Theodor Andrei

I heard that the song got a revamp. Didn’t realize that it had been stripped down so much to basically be acoustic…for the first half. This was a fun song. This revamp and presentation just sapped all the fun out of it. Like, this felt like a first-year art student’s idea of dramatic visual art. Just…terrible.

04 Estonia – Bridges performed by Alika

Why have her mime playing an instrument that we just saw was a player piano? I always thought this was a beautiful song. And she is performing it wonderfully. And she’s toned down some of the melodrama to just leave us with a dramatic and interesting song.

05 Belgium – Because of You performed by Gustaph

Oh, and here’s Belgium. This just looks kind of cheap – having the music video playing in the background? His voice, though, as expected, is flawless! I hate his pants. oh, a dancer. another Black person to come work for master Gustaph. But gosh darn it his voice is amazing.

**Ad-Break. Bland commentary with the commentators. And we’re back. Is that SCOOCH??!! It is!!! 2007 was my first Contest. Love Flying the Flag.

06 Cyprus – Break a Broken Heart performed by Andrew Lambrou

One from my personal top ten who happen to be competing tonight (alongside Armenia, Austria, and Lithuania). Interested to see how he does. His vocals could be better. Not sure if he’s nervous, having an off-night, or if this just his upper-limit. Oh no, the falsetto part… He’s lucky to have Greece and the UK here to support him tonight.

07 Iceland – Power performed by Diljá

Whoa! She just did a small flip to get off the ground. I always thought this song sounded like dull contemporary Christian rock. This performance has done nothing to change my mind in that regard. She has a good voice. This was pedestrian at best. But, given how average everything seems to be tonight, it might sneak through.

08 Greece – What They Say performed by Victor Vernicos

I’m never a fan of having the singer’s face on the large LED screen on the back of the stage. He doesn’t have a great voice, but it fits the song. He comes off as a bro – like just an adorable, dopey straight dude. One doesn’t expect a great voice out of that package – so this works. It just does.

09 Poland – Solo performed by Blanka

The positives: She’s not just barely not-naked (like in the music video) — actually, her outfit is quite nice. The staging is fine; captures some of that Island spirit.
The negatives: Her vocals are horrendous not as bad as they have been, but not good. She’s not a great dancer and she had that big dance break. If this moves through, it’s on the back of the massive Polish diaspora.

10 Slovenia – Carpe Diem performed by Joker Out

Look here Malta: this is how you pull off being cute and goofy. This is coming off way better than I thought it would, and I already thought it was gonna qualify. This is the best song of the night thus far, I’d say.

11 Georgia – Echo performed by Iru

Junior ESC winner from 2011. I like this song but its too big for her voice. LOVE her outfit and the lighting; the coloring of the stage is also amazing. This just might be this year’s best staging among all songs. I think the song is still a bit weak, but this was fantastic!

**Ad-Break: This video was fine, I guess.

12 San Marino – Like an Animal performed by Piqued Jacks

Big, open, wet lips. Not really a good start. This was overall, a bit underwhelming, to be honest. I was expecting a big performance proclaiming rock’s tight grip on the Contest. Instead, this was kinda…toothless and boring.

13. Austria – Who the Hell is Edgar? performed by Teya & Salena

Love this creepy, faceless video dancer they have duplicated on the screen; perfect aesthetic for the song. It does kinda sound like they refused to splurge on the pre-recorded vocals – in that regard, the sound of the performance has an older-ESC feel to it. That was good! I cannot wait to see how they turn things up a notch on Saturday.

14. Albania – Duje performed by Albina & Kelmendi Family

This sounds just like the studio version – for better and for worse. Vocally on point, but lacking any kind of soul or heart that usually comes from a live performance. I like this all family dance number, very cute. I like the outfits, but it’s starting to feel standard issue for Albania entries, haha.

15 Lithuania –  Stay performed by Monika Linkytė

Another one of my favorites. I still have no idea why this song is so underrated. It’s performed beautifully, it’s meaningful and heartfelt, and dramatic. Such a pretty song with a powerful performance. It should qualify but I have a feeling it will not.

16 Australia – Promise performed by Voyager

I love this neon car. No one can ever say that Australia has not brought it each and every time it has competed. While I think this is one of Oz’s weaker songs, this staging is amazing – captivating and captures the attitude of the entry so wonderfully. Gives it a vintage (not dated) feel. And it is performed perfectly.

So, how would I rate the songs based solely on this evening?

16. Romania
15. Denmark
14. Poland
13. Albania
12. San Marino
11. Cyprus
10. Iceland
9. Belgium
8. Greece
7. Austria
6. Armenia
5. Australia
4. Estonia
3. Lithuania
2. Georgia
1. Slovenia

Once again, my list of preferred songs shocks me. Slovenia, Australia, nor Georgia are in my personal top songs. But they were among the best tonight – really elevating their songs.

More importantly, who do I think will progress through to the Final?

This semi-final is so much harder to predict. There aren’t many clear favorites and many of the songs were adequate without being special. If I had to predict (and I do) then I would say: (in no particular order)

Australia, Austria, Slovenia, Poland, Armenia, Greece, Georgia, Estonia, Cyprus, Albania (though, I was very tempted to place Iceland)

Basically, keeping my pre-show predictions minus San Marino and Denmark, who I think both had lackluster performances tonight. I think Australia, Austria, and Greece came in as locks to qualify and did nothing to change that. Georgia, Slovenia, and Armenia were more borderline, but their performances should have them move through. Poland and Cyprus have huge diaspora support. Finally, Estonia had a STUNNING performance is probably the best ballad on the night while Albania just seems to succeed with this kind of ethnic music.

Interval Act: Ugh, not a fan of drag. Skipping this entirely. Hoping they at least used nothing but Eurovision music.

Another overly easy Semi-Final Qualifier quiz: Lithuania 2010 (not), Malta 2018 (not) – I actually met Christabelle in Lisbon after the dress rehearsal on Weds – we were both getting dinner at t he same place next to the arena, Moldova 2010 (yes)

Always adorable with kids

Once again, I’ll give my thoughts on the auto-qualifiers full performance later, but here are my thoughts on the short clips we get to see now.

Spain: WHOA! They went with dramatic white?! I assumed she’d have a huge gown but the pants kinda work. Also curious about this more stripped down revamp of the song. At least, it feels more stripped down compared to the very produced studio version.

Ukraine: I like the outfits with the heart symbols. Oh! I hope this is just nerves and he’ll sound stronger in the real thing Friday/Saturday. Because this just felt like a rehearsal or something that accidentally got leaked.

United Kingdom: oh no, she’s trying to be sexy, but doesn’t quite have the charisma for it. And she just looks and sounds so small on this huge stage. I hope that she picks things up for the real thing.

My prediction: Australia, Austria, Slovenia, Poland, Armenia, Greece, Georgia, Estonia, Cyprus, Albania

And our qualifiers are:

  • Albania (1 correct/1 possible song)

  • Cyprus (2/2)

  • Estonia (3/3)

  • Belgium (3/4) – Not too surprising, and good on them doing it without Germany, France, or the Netherlands

  • Austria (4/5)

  • Lithuania (4/6) – WHOA!!!! Very surprising – well-deserved. VERY happy to be wrong about this one

  • Poland (5/7) – Sad to be correct about this one

  • Australia (6/8)

  • Armenia (7/9)
    Intriguing, who makes it between Greece and Slovenia?

  • Slovenia! (8/10) VERY well-deserved

Another good show from the BBC. Historic notes and commentary about the AQs to come later (realistically, probably tomorrow). I’m only shocked by Lithuania’s qualification, but given that it’s one of my favorite songs this year, incredibly happy that it did. Also, stunned that Slovenia did so well! Good for them!

Spain – Eaea performed by Blanca Paloma

Starting with the silhouette feels bleak, and then there’s too much color and she’s in this casual outfit. I’m liking the red curtain circle. If I remember correctly, there’s some message behind this song (hope for the next generation?) But all I’m getting is some kind of witch ceremony. Ending with a blackout is undercut if you immediately show them. I mean, she very much gave it her all here. Still not seeing the Top Ten potential but it’s interesting to say the least.

Ukraine – Heart of Steel performed by TVORCHI

I found the clip to be beyond underwhelming. hoping the full song is better. Oof, messed up the timing with the video there. The dancers are also struggling with the timing. I like the bionic look and theme BUT I cannot help but think this could have been more powerful if it was just images of Ukrainian resistance in the face of the invasion. Would that have been too political? Also, I definitely do not think this has the juice to win the televote not unless he has a bunch of levels he can turn on tonight.

United Kingdom – I Wrote a Song performed by Mae Muller

What is with so many songs featuring the artists’ face on the screen?? I don’t envy Mae Muller here, she is the host entry the first time the Contest is in the UK since the 90s and last year was one of the most beloved British entries and artists in decades. She has a decent song, but she’s not a great singer…and she has to close the show, a notoriously difficult position to be in. I wasn’t expecting this. But the song feel bigger than she is capable of singing – I think she’s just lost in the hugeness of the stage. WHY IS SHE RAPPING?????? Oh no, this…I think the BBC has once again shot themselves in the foot.

May 11, 2023 | Categories: Eurovision 2023 - Liverpool, Live Commentary on the Night | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

ESC 2023 – Semi-Final One

official logo for ESC 2023

Hello Dear Readers!

The first televised show is here! Semi-Final One of the 67th Eurovision Song Contest live from Liverpool. Well…it was live. I had to work, so I’m watching it several hours later on Tuesday. But these are indeed my initial reactions to seeing the show live.

As a reminder, tonight we will see the following countries compete:

Norway, Malta, Serbia, Latvia, Portugal, Ireland, Croatia, Switzerland, Israel, Moldova, Sweden, Azerbaijan, Czechia, Netherlands, Finland

We will also see the first performances of France, Germany, and Italy (the automatic qualifiers who will be voting tonight). The televoting public from these 18 countries alongside a collated “Rest of the World” televote will be 100% of the determining factor of who qualifies tonight.

As a reminder, I predicted the qualifiers would be:

Norway, Sweden, Czechia, Finland, Serbia, Croatia, Israel, Moldova, Portugal, Switzerland

Let’s dig in!

Awww this little Liverpool kid is adorable! I really like this intro video – even King Charles III and Queen Consort Camilla make an appearance!

Beautiful transition into the opening act. Really loving the emphasis on Ukraine and the bridge built from Ukraine to the UK. I like the opening song; it’s high energy but not too long.

What are these dresses the hosts are wearing?? Particularly that rainbow thing Hannah Waddingham is wearing?? Also, FYI, Ukraine is not at war, it is being invaded. They are fighting for survival.

No, plenty of countries have not hosted after winning. Most definitely not the first time another country is hosting on behalf of another. 1980 immediately comes to mind when the Netherlands hosted for Israel. The UK hosted in 1972 for Monaco.

AND WE’RE OFF!

Norway – Queen of Kings performed by Alessandra

As a reminder: I listen to the songs, but avoid all coverage of the postcards and stagings so I can still have something to be surprised about when I watch. I LOVE THIS POSTCARD CONCEPT. Ukraine-UK-participating country. LOVE IT! Also, the library in Oslo featured here is AMAZING! and a must see if you visiting the city.

Oohh, I am enjoying the revamp. Some slight vocal changes to the melody. I am a little shocked to see this open the show. This is one of the big favorites to win. Usually these are tucked toward the middle and end of the show. Not to mention, Malta is uptempo as well and immediately follows this. Just weird on the producers’ part to arrange the songs this way. And then to follow them with two off-kilter songs. Anyway… she botched the big note there. But I love her outfit and the toned down staging. Great start!

Malta – Dance (Our Own Party) performed by The Busker

This song has two option for its performance: sexy or goofy. They are going the goofy route: they’re cute but knew they could not carry off a sexy approach of this song. Actually, they’re having fun, but I’m a bit let down by this. I know he has a toned down style of singing but it’s coming off as more than a bit meek. I do like the dance break. He can’t dance so they choreographed something simple and goofy for him to do and relied on the sequins. I thought this was fine but underwhelming.

Serbia – Samo Mi Se Spava performed by Luke Black

And now one of the more off-kilter songs this year. And, like Malta, one of my favorites. I see they’re just replicating the staging from the Serbian national selection. He sounds great – exactly as it’s supposed to sound. Love they leaned more into the anime/video game aesthetic. Pretty awesome! I think the surest qualifier so far.

Latvia – Aijā performed by Sudden Lights

This is actually my favorite song this year. I don’t know who dressed these guys, but they should have seriously rethought their choices. They look way too casual – even for a song that seeks to be a lullaby. Also a weird choice to put the quirky songs all together, with poor Ireland somehow caught up in the way. I don’t know, this should have been staged to be huge and overwhelming or super intimate and tight. I don’t think this did either of those things. I never expected this to qualify but I think this is not the best they could have presented it.

Ad break – Oh, rapping…fun… Oh! Buck’s Fizz!!

Portugal –  Ai Coração performed by MimiCat

Oh, the fun, upbeat, dance tun about a brokenheart sung by a lady named “Mimicat” – haha. I love her outfit! And the the clapping effect – makes it sound like the entire audience is clapping – in sync, in time – a true miracle of music. This choreography is great. Glad they got rid of the couch from the national final. I love when folks can be sexy and classy – just beautiful. Here comes the big note……WHOO! She got it spot on! And a HUGE audience reaction!

Awww….poor Ireland, having to follow this and be ahead of Croatia…

Ireland – We Are One performed by Wild Youth

Playing as the home team tonight, as Liverpool and Dublin are just a short boat ride from each other and, honestly, it’s like if Canada was performing in the US in a Contest of the Americas, we would have each others’ backs 🙂 Very happy they chose not wear those stupid hoods from the music video. They’re adorable boys and need to use that. I’m shocked they did not use this song as a chance to have fans submit videos. It would have been great to see friends and families from around Ireland and the world featured on stage. Not quite sure about this disco aesthetic. The song still sounds terribly dated but they’re giving it a full effort and presenting it as best as I think it can be presented. They should be proud of themselves.

Croatia – Mama ŠČ! performed by Let 3

Here it comes…the totally not political song about a woman leader emboldening a madman who now thinks he is entitled to the world… Glad to see they brought the madness from the music video to the stage. They are a comedy group, afterall. Though, this does kinds just sound like tired old men. OH! A totally not political bald guy with bombs. I mean, maybe a bit underwhelming but with a 100% televote, I don’t see how this fails to qualify.

Switzerland – Watergun performed by Remo Forrer

My sleeper pick; a real dark horse candidate if performed well. Let’s see… I don’t think I realized how cute he was. His outfit is…questionable. Not terrible, just…questionable. I like they kept things black, to emphasize the darkness of the topic and the ideas it presents. The music video is all red and it can be a bit cheesy- Oh…here’s the red. Here comes the big note….he hit it but it didn’t feel too impactful. Love the idea of leaving him alone on stage at the end. I don’t know if it’s enough to qualify but, we’ll see.

Israel – Unicorn performed by Noa Kirel

A song that could have been the weirdest in most years, not enough the remotely the craziest. Always love those light tunnels and the dizzying, infinite effect they bring. Her vocals could have been better, but, then again, her vocals aren’t the point of the song. The choreography was tight and hot! I think this accomplished its goals. We’ll see it again on Saturday.

Moldova – Soarele şi Luna performed by Pasha Parfeni

Is it me or has he seemed to have lost a step or two since we last saw him? Aside from not being a fan of pagan stuff, I don’t see why this song would fail to qualify. Moldova generally succeeds with this kind of stuff. I like the light effects of fire rings emanating out from the stage.

Ad break – Oh, very well done helping us see each country labeled and attending the Turquoise Carpet on Sunday night.

Sweden – Tattoo performed by Loreen

The big betting odds favorite, it’s odds reshortened to 1/1 after rehearsals. This is also my winner pick. Not only is her light box back, but so are those insane nails. Here’s the thing, she’s only going about 50% right now and, halfway through, is already the strongest act tonight. Imagine Friday night when she’s at 100% for the juries…or Saturday when she’s at 120% for the televote. Is Sweden unstoppable? I think so….

A break to get Loreen’s staging off. It’s a huge contraption, so I assume they needed the extra time to remove it.

Azerbaijan – Tell Me More performed by TuralTuranX

They truly are adorable! And they are leaning fully into the 90s nerd rock aesthetic this staging and these outfits. The staging also did a good job of capturing the ever-growing drama in the song as it ramped up and up. But this is not surprising, Azerbaijan is always amazing at staging. The song? It’s still meh. The singing? Still meh.

Czechia – My Sister’s Crown performed by Vesna

This is a song I have imagined a staging for a thousand times, so I have to actively clear that out to watch this. Hmmm….unlike the music video where they were all distinct, they went the opposite route – they’re like six clones. I love it, actually, in anonymity they bread universality. They don’t sound vocally perfect, but this is stunning. Whereas the studio version had a sterile quality to it, there’s a hidden warmth and humanity in their singing tonight. This is way overperforming what I thought it would.

The Netherlands – Burning Daylight performed by Mia Nicolai & Dion Cooper

Oh! I forgot to mention – I love that there’s a greater emphasis on the country and song title than the artist(s) name(s) for the graphics introducing each song. It’s easy to forget this is a song contest not a talent search. Mia sounds great! Dion sounds like he does on the studio track (not bad, just not remarkable). Interesting to go with a space theme as opposed to a dusk theme. I predicted the final qualification would come down to this and Switzerland. Still think the Swiss have the better song – but this is definitely the better staging and has the advantage of coming later in the show.

Finland – Cha Cha Cha performed by Käärijä

The other major betting odds favorite tonight…of course there would be a sauna on stage. Oh! Hear this slightly behind the beat clapping, that is genuine audience participation. Here come the evil Cha-Cha puppets! The point is feeling like society is pulling on you to behavior a certain way and perform as expected – which is counter to how society has trained you to be. Seems like the evil puppets should directly be tied to him. But they are smothering him. He looks so uncomfortable! But that’s the point. Oh, I’m pretty sure that will win the televote (and therefore the semi) tonight, but be slammed by the juries on Saturday.

OKAY!

How do I rate these 15 songs based ONLY on tonight’s performances? First off – no one was terrible. Even my lowest rated song still had a great showing.

15. Ireland
14. Croatia
13. Moldova
12. Azerbaijan
11. Malta
10. Latvia
9. Norway
8. Switzerland
7. Serbia
6. Israel
5. Netherlands
4. Finland
3. Portugal
2. Sweden
1. Czechia

Oh, I shocked even myself there. I’m not a big fan of Israel, Netherlands, or Finland but they were all overachieving tonight. Czechia was my favorite – powerful song staged perfectly and beautifully performed.

More importantly: Who do I think will be qualifying?

To be honest, I’m pretty confident in my pre-show predictions for eight of the songs. The bigger question is: did Netherlands and Malta do enough to knock off my two least picks with the least confidence? I think one did and one did not.

My predicted qualifiers:

Norway, Sweden, Czechia, Finland, Serbia, Croatia, Israel, Moldova, Portugal, Netherlands

Does this mean I’m abandoning Switzerland… yeah. I just don’t think it had enough to withstand against the heavy hitters. If this was a normal year with a 50/50 qualification method, I would say it was moving through. But on the back of 100% televote? No, I think it’s just too meek of a song in too bad a running order position to move through.

The host just called the voting act “soberingly beautiful” – and I have to agree. It was deeply haunting. I loved their performance, the lighting effects, the visual effects, and the story of Alyosha’s journey to safety. Normally, I automatically hate when a non-Eurovision song is selected, but Ordinary World was a good choice if you’re looking outside the 1500+ songs of ESC.

No. I don’t want another performance, especially by someone who insulted ESC just 10 years ago when she was “grateful” to have ben passed over to represent the UK in 2013. No, close voting and let’s get this show on the road! Or…you know…have Eurovision people performing. What’s Cascada doing right now? Bonnie Tyler? This is okay, I guess.

Loving this video looking at Ukraine and UK’s connected histories throughout the past 20 years that Ukraine has been participating.

Dustin the Turkey! Good for him for still sticking around.

Oh…this is an easy ESC history trivia game: Qualifier vs Non-Qualifier. Switzerland 2007 (NQ), San Marino 2022 (NQ), Sweden 2010 (NQ – Sweden’s only). But, it’s fun to see the two of them. FYI – Ukraine is the only (non-Big Five) country with 100% qualification rate.

Good lord, another performance? See, get rid of the voting performances (I don’t think it’s fair or wise to have other music playing while people are trying to remember songs to vote for) and replace them with these videos. Then the interval acts can be all the extra stuff. And then we can have our three AQs perform (without the interviews – I would prefer the whole three minutes).

Hmmm – I’ll come back and add thoughts on the full AQ three minute performances, but… Just based on these clips, all three seem more than a bit underwhelming – the problem with having these be from the Monday dress rehearsal as opposed to being live tonight. It under-sales the songs, I think. Also, Italy is terribly dressed.

FINALLY! The qualifiers!

As a reminder, I predicted: Norway, Sweden, Czechia, Finland, Serbia, Croatia, Israel, Moldova, Portugal, Netherlands

Here we go…

  • Croatia (1 correct/1 possible song)

  • Moldova (2/2)

  • Switzerland! (2/3 — very happy to be wrong about this one – the dark horse lives!)

  • Finland (3/4)

  • Czechia (4/5)

  • Israel (5/6)

  • Portugal (6/7)

  • Sweden (7/8)

  • Serbia (8/9)

And…finally….

  • Norway (9/10)

So, my pre-show predictions were correct! Happy to have been wrong about Switzerland; the stronger song between it and The Netherlands qualified. I’ll have historic notes in a bit once I’ve had dinner and all that. But, overall, a night we knew would be good being even better than expected! With a mix of songs that would have and wouldn’t have survived if there were juries involved. Saturday should be interesting, but first, we go on to Thursday, this year’s weaker semi-final. Much harder to predict.

Some historical notes:

  • This Croatia’s first qualification since 2017 (also the year after a Ukrainian victory)

  • After only three qualifications from 2004-2018, Switzerland has now qualified for the Final in four consecutive Contests

  • For only the second time since its success streak began in 2013, The Netherlands has failed to qualify for the Final

  • For only the second time since its debut in 2008, Azerbaijan has failed to qualify for the Final.

  • Ireland extends its nonqualification streak to 4, while Latvia’s extends to 6 – the longest active streak among all countries (Georgia will tie this if it fails to qualify on Thursday)

Auto-Qualifiers Reaction

France – Évidemment performed by La Zarra

Another issue with using recordings from the dress rehearsals is that usually, by the time that the auto-qualifiers are performing, only the most ardent fans are remaining in the arena. So, I don’t trust this fan reaction at all. I see that France is pretty much just recreating the music video – but with a French flag. Again, even in full context, I find the performance to be more than a bit underwhelming. She needs to turn it up on Friday and again Saturday if she wants any chance of taking down Sweden (or Finland).

Germany – Blood & Glitter performed by Lord of the Lost

I don’t quite understand the choice of wearing the bony wing things. This is a bit better than the preview clip led me to believe. It’s a little weird to see the band all spread out like this, but I guess it’s fine. I see fire spewing from the stage floor…but no blood…no glitter… how disappointing.

Italy – Due Vite performed by Marco Mengoni

His outfit is still terrible. I hope they change it before the Final. Whoa! The dancer just fell from those steps and then we realize there’s a trampoline. You can just tell that he’s not giving this his full effort, but at least we get some sustained eye contact this time around. I imagine Saturday night, when he’s going full tilt and we’ll have his full effort and his full smolder, this will really stand out in the crowd.

May 9, 2023 | Categories: Eurovision 2023 - Liverpool, Live Commentary on the Night | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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